The start is not the end

by | svi 25, 2021 | Animals, Cats, Compassion, Everyday, Nonhumans, Photography, Storytelling | 0 comments

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

– Martin Luther King Jr.


I wrote this short story / biographic note in 2016 for the final thesis while preparing my final exam at the art academy.

And the story goes…

I saw the opportunity to take my two cats to a vet for a free tooth check-up and for both of them, the teeth cleaning was necessary, they said.

I was very very anxious and worried about that thing. I prayed and thought, what if would something happen to one of them, what if they die or something goes wrong? I would sue the clinic I would find them I would… !!!

I pay health insurance for my cats but not for myself. Now, are you already judging me, aren’t you?

That day the vet phoned me and told me that his teeth were in a very bad condition and that they diagnosed him with renal insufficiency. What does that mean? I though it happens only to humans. They took almost all of his teeth out, kept him in a clinic for two days, and gave him medications and infusion. I visited him in the clinic; he wanted to escape, occasionally strongly shaking off his leg with an infusion attached to. I cried, hugged, kissed him, spoke to him. He was in a small cage. A cat in the cage next to him cried loudly. What do we do to these beings? Who are they? Why are we here together? And what can we do to make it better? What can I do to make it better?

At this moment, Ixxo is sleeping on my working table, just next to me, and Tipie on the floor, just beside me. He inhales the air, his head against his grey blanket, paws turned inside, making sounds just like I do before fall asleep. I touch his back, stroking my hand against his back, it feels familiar, and safe…I look at him, then I turn my eyes away, to see if I still feel the same, as he becomes someone else, still known, but someone I have never met before, still familiar and safe.

women with two cats on bed

Photo: Ivana Filip, Amalgama, 2015


When I touch him, I touch myself.

His hair is mine.

His breath inhale exhale.

Warm and warmer.

Not smelly anymore and I miss it.

Covers his eye with a paw,

To protect from a light,

Ears moving fast and faster.

Breathing snoring,

Dreaming even?



I try to follow the rhythm.

It is faster than mine but I keep on,

Becoming dizzy.


Whom do I touch when I touch my cat? I wonder.


Love and thanks,


Kolekcija radova i proizvoda Ivane Filip inspirirana je njenim dugogodišnjim istraživanjem, brigom i bliskim suživotom s neljudima. Proizvodi predstavljaju nastavak razvoja njene umjetničke prakse s nadom da će pridonijeti i vašem bliskijem odnosu s neljudima, a možda usrećiti i blisku osobu. Svaki mjesec donirat ćemo 10% mjesečnog dobitka udrugama za zaštitu životinja u RH.

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